Invisible GIrl

Twilight Party cupcake
Originally uploaded by Retro Bakery in Las Vegas

I found these amazing vampire cupcakes on Flickr. They are by retrobakerylv.com

I want to try and recreate them for Halloween. Or you know, whenever. Anyone interested in trying my experimental vampire cupcakes??

I also started reading that book I mentioned a blog or two ago, Bird By Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, by Anne Lamott. I really got into the style of the author and the way she uses her own experiences in tangential, off-the-wall ways.. It is aimed at fiction writers, but really any kind of writer would enjoy it. Especially one full of anxieties and doubts like me.

Here's a quote I have been mulling over:

"Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life." Perfectionism means that you try desperately not to leave so much mess to clean up. But clutter and mess show us that life is being lived."

Dude, the voice of the oppressor totally rules my world right now. I am always trying to leave less mess to clean up, to be more accomodating, to be "good." I noticed lately that I am invisible girl. By which I mean that when I walk down the street or in shopping centers or on campus, I am totally not seen by those walking past. How do I know, you ask? Well they effing bump into me, like, totally surprised that I was in the way. I'm forever playing this game of chicken where I wait until the last minute to see if the person will register my presence. And I lose at that game always, because I move first. So as to be accomodating. Then I get angry at the person for taking up more space than is rightfully theirs. When really, I should be pissed at myself for not acting the same way. Or should I? Wouldn't this world be a nicer place to live in if everyone registered that other people exist and may need to get past, so look up dammit and move a smidge to the left?

People suck a lot of the time. Not always, but a lot of the time.