Things Change

Not much good news to post today. A friend of M. and I lost his mom yesterday. She was delivering Holy Communion at a convalescent home and got hit by a car on the way in. Awful news. She was a mother of 17 kids! And who knows how many grandchildren.

M. lost his job yesterday. Massive layoffs at his company. Something like 20% of the employees were laid off and everyone else took significant pay cuts. He's dealing with it surprisingly well, trying to see the opportunity in it all. What a horrible time to be looking for work. I survived the budget cuts for next semester somewhat unscathed. Three classes instead of four, which is not bad, but four is probably necessary about now, doncha think? I'm sure many of the other adjuncts are just out of luck with no classes for spring. I feel pretty lucky in that regard. It's always difficult to blog about things that happen in your life, especially the bad things or the intensely personal things. I thank M. for being so kind as to allow me to talk about it. He hates a pity party, so I know it's probably not very comfortable for him. At least the Phillies won the World Series yesterday, making it the most schizophrenic day for M. I would imagine.

So in light of all this, I busied myself today with some serious cleaning. It's what I do. We had let the place go due to my mountain of exams, so it's not like we didn't need to clean. Cleaning as a way of bringing order to your life is something I've often thought about. This book: Sweeping Beauty: Contemporary Women Poets Do Housework explores the different, sometimes contentious relationships that women have with cleaning. For me it's almost a meditative experience. It's also a way of putting things right. I can't put the big things right on my own, but I can make sure the pantry is clean and the floors shine. Well, at least as clean and shiny as an apartment can get.
On days like this, I feel irresponsible for choosing the academic career path. Sure, I love what I do, but if I had a more stable or lucrative career, we would be so much better off. What could I do though? My backup plan was librarian, and that is not exactly a money maker either. Stock brokers aren't doing too good now. I guess I'm doing as good as anybody.

One good thing did happen recently. My friend Mark got married to his partner of 3 years! Totally legal! Their wedding was totally beautiful and sweet. Mark was even a bit emotional, which was a bit surprising. I was nervous before/during my wedding, but nowhere near teary. At least not that I remember. Both of their families were happy and teary as well, and it was cute to see them both dance with their moms. They want to adopt, so they figured they may as well take the plunge. I wish them both the best.

I just can't believe that people would take it upon themselves to deny someone such a beautiful thing. Even though I have high hopes for the election and the defeat of prop 8, I am cautiously eyeing the future. The future is totally scaring the pants off me right now.

mood: uncertain
listening to: Thao, "You Really Got a Hold On Me"