Thursday, April 23, 2009

Friday Finds - Baby Junk

I know way too many people who are having kids these days. Or already have kids. It's an epidemic. After turning 30, my body has decided to assault me. The War of Ovarian Aggression, I call it. Now, when I see cute baby stuff, I'm all "how cuuuute!!" Stupid things like fedoras for babies make me gush and smile. I always thought babies laughing was the most awesome thing ever, but I never was into baby paraphernalia.

Anyway, with all these buns in ovens (and no, not in mine, and not for a while, no matter what the ovaries have planned), I decided to find some interesting baby/toddler stuff.

These are real gifts:

#1 I kind of want these for myself. Kitty crayons for little hands by kittybblove

#2 Cute owl pillow for a nursery by manicmuffintotes. So cute!


#3 For your lil swashbuckler, a toy sword that is made from soft and durable wood. From Little Alouette


Barking Bird Art's little birdie paintings are super cute for a nursery. This is just one:


The rest of these are frightening, funny, or silly things:

p.s. I'm not linking them, because what if one of you weirdos actually buys this stuff? I'd feel so ashamed!

Ok, what is wrong with people? Canyou see yourself strapping your kid into this?


By the time the strapping contraption is complete, you've already lost the will to pee!

Have you ever thought, gee, my baby is bald!? I should fix that. Well, don't worry, because there are fleece-lined baby wigs for total freaks and their children.




The pictures and names are hysterical.

How about this:
For just $35, you can prove to everyone that the balance of power in your home has forever changed:

Yes, folks, it's...wait for it.....the "Daddle"

These "Billy Bob" pacifiers are horrific. This is actually the least offensive one!

They have a pig snout, buck teeth, teeth holding (I kid you not) a tiny American flag, and a camoflage pacifier.

Now I know that kids are hard to handle and sometimes you have ill-timed and embarrassing "accidents" to deal with, but this seems like a really bad solution:


Yes, a personalized bottle that exclaims "I'm filled with Alexis' Pee!!" Pink for girls and blue for boys, because you don't want to give them gender dysphorea along with a fear of public urination, right?

Can you imagine trying to throw this away when you find it in your mom's attic when you are 22 and she's all "Not your pee pee bottle!!"

There are just too many levels of psychological scarring that one plastic bottle will create.

This one actually kind of rules:

From Milkbomb

I'm slacking on this blog because the semester is hellish right now, but I will be back with a vengeance very soon. And this summer, I'll be a blogging fiend, I'm sure, so hold tight.

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