Transformers 2

Surprisingly, less than meets the eye.

You know a movie is bad when you find yourself thinking, "Hmm..I didn't realize that they have ceiling fans in here. I thought it was all AC all the time." And this is during the climactic scene (which lasted forevs).

Can you enjoy a movie where you dislike almost all the characters? What is the point of this? I think it may be some scheme to get us to root for the destruction of all humanity. Near the end of this movie, I was so there. 150 minutes people!

The transformers themselves were all about transforming, even when it wasn't necessary to even transform. There were a pair of Autobots that, I kid you not, were practically Heckle and Jeckle. Megan Fox's character is one note and silly, and it takes until the last few minutes of the movie for her white pants to get dirty. White pants! If I wore white pants (and I would never, ever, wear white pants), they'd be dirty as I was getting into my car. Boom. Dirty. Useless. Go home and change. Even with Megan Fox in the movie, the central character, Sam Witwicky, with whom we are supposed to identify or at least root for was the most dumb and ridiculous one.

He suffers from what a lot of teen heroes suffer from, the desire to be "normal" despite a fate that requires them to save the world. Whether it's Buffy Summers or Claire Bennet, the teen hero's number one goal in the face of annihilation of all humanity is usually "go to prom" or "go to fraternity party." Usually this results in bunches of people getting hurt, maimed, or horrified. Well I really hate those heroes.

Guess what, Sam, you were sought out by a race of aliens made out of scrap metal that can magically transform into crappy American cars. Newsflash: you don't get to be normal. Don't try to be, just suck it up. Just once, I'd like to see them oh, I don't know, prioritize? And who fates teenagers with this stuff? You know who they should fate with it? The personal assistants of really shitty bosses. Seriously! They have the prioritization skills, the unreleased anger, and they are who they are because the get the job done despite ridiculous odds.

Anyway, don't see the sequel. It sucks.