Old Thoughts

Holy hell you guys, I haven't written anything substantial for the blog in forever. I've got so much going on and work leaves me pretty tired. Enough with that. Now on to today's post, which is about my case of the Olds.


It's being around young folks that makes you understand that you are one of the middle aged. People my age have kids, families, well established careers, and mortgages. I don't have any of those things, and yet still I find that my perspective is much different than it was in my 20s. I have noticed over the past few years that my thinking has changed. I've always been a cranky pants, but there are a few things that I've noticed are new. Here are a few choice examples:


1. Chairs are expensive.
Why are chairs so expensive? I get that they require a bit more engineering than a sofa or a table, but damn. One chair for a dining room table can run you $100. The table is less than half the price of the four measly chairs you'll need.  This thought (and the sub-thoughts that follow) is not something I would have thought even 10 years ago. Because at 23, I would have told you that chairs are cheap. Chairs, you see, you can buy at garage sales or on Craigslist. Chairs are sometimes free if you look around your neighborhood. Old Sweet Lady does not believe in the cheap chair. She thinks cheap chairs make your house look like a college apartment. And she doesn't want to live in a college apartment. This could be the suburbanization of Sweet Lady, but I like to think it's an appreciation of well made things, things that you know, actually last. Because you actually take care of them. Maturity!


2. What the hell is salvia? 
I have to say, I was absolutely horrified to find that there is a new drug kids are using to get high and I had to find out via Miley Cyrus. Because I'm so old and removed from degenerates that I now find out about the underworld via "the news." In my day, parents found out about shocking new ways kids endanger themselves via the news program 20/20. Weekly, Barbara Walters, Hugh Downs, and that jerkoff John Stossel would scare the hell out of my parents and I'd deal with the aftermath. Concerts? People get trampled to death at those. Driving at night? You could be the victim of a number of attacks via gang members, con men, rapists dressed up as police. Now I'm one of those people. I thought kids were all getting high off Nyquil and 7-Up. That's so 8 years ago, apparently. Oh, and to add insult to injury, I misread the word "salvia" and thought Miley Cyrus was taking bong hits of "saliva." I was like "These kids are OUT OF CONTROL!!"


3." If we head out to the bar at 8:30, we're sure to get seats! AND since we're going out so early, we'll be home and cozy in bed by midnight."
I was embarrassed about this one at first, but I'm so not ok with standing all night. Don't care if it's old. And it IS. Since I can only handle so many cocktails in my old age, going out early means coming home early. I haven't seen the lights go on at the bar in a while. And I'm honestly fine with it. I'm married. There's a theory out there that I shouldn't even be at the bar taking up valuable single person real estate. Regardless, it's a step away from "it's too loud in here." 

4. I hope I get that bonus check. It's going straight into the bank!
The days of living paycheck to paycheck are not gone, I'm still broke as hell, but in the past a bonus check would have been a license to buy something new or take a trip. Now I'm excited about putting some cash into the savings. This one hurts, but it's true.

5. I think about my 401k and if I should roll over all my other retirement accounts into my new one or if I should just wait until I have a stable job and just roll them all over into that one. It's so boring that I have no commentary. OLD.


6. Short skirts are not an option.
I think about adding fabric to skirts that I buy because there are apparently no a-line skirts that hit the knees available for sale. In the world. Seriously. I have a skirt that is pinned to a piece of fabric that will serve as a band around the bottom. A modesty panel, if you will. What is up with every skirt ending at mid-thigh?! Answer: Maybe you should stop shopping at Delia's, you delusional old lady! Maybe now it's time to go to the career section at Kohls or Macys. NEVER!!!!!

So now you know. Any old thoughts that you have would be greatly appreciated in the comments. I'd like to know I'm not alone!