Traditionally, I wait until October 1st to start in on the Halloween consumption extravaganza, but I'm freaking bored, Ok, so here we go.
First up, this random catalog I got in the mail from a costume website. In it were mysteries, beauties, and horriblies.
I don't really know what the cover costume is, but I like the heart shaped corset ruffles.
Things started out OK. I liked the pinup sailor girl costume and the Egyptian royalty costumes. Especially the necklace!
Was a little disturbed that the 90s are now a costume choice. Damns. That you'd even have to buy the Kurt Cobain or Courtney Love costumes is sad because every one can make those using $5 at Goodwill.
Mad props to the costumers for coming up with a Deatheater costume. You'd pretty much have to go to parties full of Potter fans though, because you just look like a dead anteater without the context.
I really loved the Marge Simpson costume. The wig is amazing and everyone would know what you were. Homer needs a much bigger donut though, don't you think?
Video game costumes can be done really well, like the princess above, but the other two need her for context. I doubt anyone is going as mushroom head this year or any year!
Does anyone remember the Ambiguously Gay Duo, Ace and Gary? I do! I love these.
The Dia de los Muertos bride and groom costumes were pretty cool, but kind of expensive.
Then, things got weird. Sexy costumes can be done well, and then there's ridiculous:
There's a difference between the sailor girl at the top of the post and this one. I can't quite place it.....
I'm just not the kind of person who would want to wear or see this slutty nurse costume, when you could much more awesomely wear this:
And then things get weirder:
Dressing up as a Chinese takeout box for Halloween. Notice each breast is emblazoned with the word "enjoy" and she's wearing a fortune cookie on her head. Brain...failure..can't..react...
You are probably wondering what the hell is going on above. What are they supposed to be, you may be asking. Well, that right there is a sexy Big Bird, Elmo, and Cookie Monster costume. Yes. Scrolling down to avoid the horror doesn't make it any less real my friends.
This foursome may also make you wonder what is going on. They are sexy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes! Of course! Not quite as disturbing as the Sexy Big Bird, but still so weird. Who (outside of sorority sisters) are buying these things!?
Now, you know this Avatar thing is happening this year, but why is the dude wearing a suit? I watched that movie (well, the first half...snooze), and he spent plenty of time in "faux" native regalia. Which means loincloth, blue abs, etc. In this pairing, only the lady wears a body hugging catsuit. Lame! Just in case you were wondering, the children's version of this pair replicates the double standard:
I like how both the man and the boy are wearing masks instead of makeup. What's up with that?
You know, I get it. Some ladies want to slut it up one night a year. God help 'em, if they do, it's their choice. It's also my choice to think it's kind of sad and not in keeping with the point of Halloween costuming, but whatever. Sexy costumes are going to happen as long as there's patriarchy and being sexy is more valuable than choosing a clever costume. But what saddens me most is that even the costumes marketed to teen girls come in a "sexy" version:
Dude, it's Hermoine Granger (I know it says "wizard Wanda, but we're all in on the copyright infringement that's going on here, right?) . A character that is also a teenager in school! You could just wear the Harry Potter costume with a different wig. Why does a 15 year old need to be a sexpot Hermoine?!
Luckily with the littlest kids it isn't so bad. I was actually quite impressed with the "Buccaneers" costumes that are virtually the same from boy to girl (the only difference is a skirt vs. pants). Little girl Captain Jack Sparrow totally rules!
Each page of the catalog is frightening in different, unintentional ways. The only thing I would probably buy (if I had money or was throwing a party) is this really cool drink/blood dispenser:
Tune in tomorrow when I regale you with my anger over the huge con that is the Martha Stewart Halloween 2010 Magazine.
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