Halloween Approaches

Traditionally, I wait until October 1st to start in on the Halloween consumption extravaganza, but I'm freaking bored, Ok, so here we go.


First up, this random catalog I got in the mail from a costume website. In it were mysteries, beauties, and horriblies.

 I don't really know what the cover costume is, but I like the heart shaped corset ruffles.

Things started out OK. I liked the pinup sailor girl costume and the Egyptian royalty costumes. Especially the necklace!

Was a little disturbed that the 90s are now a costume choice. Damns. That you'd even have to buy the Kurt Cobain or Courtney Love costumes is sad because every one can make those using $5 at Goodwill.

Mad props to the costumers for coming up with a Deatheater costume. You'd pretty much have to go to parties full of Potter fans though, because you just look like a dead anteater without the context.

I really loved the Marge Simpson costume. The wig is amazing and everyone would know what you were. Homer needs a much bigger donut though, don't you think?

Video game costumes can be done really well, like the princess above, but the other two need her for context. I doubt anyone is going as mushroom head this year or any year!

Does anyone remember the Ambiguously Gay Duo, Ace and Gary? I do! I love these.

The Dia de los Muertos bride and groom costumes were pretty cool, but kind of expensive.

Then, things got weird. Sexy costumes can be done well, and then there's ridiculous:

There's a difference between the sailor girl at the top of the post and this one. I can't quite place it.....

I'm just not the kind of person who would want to wear or see this slutty nurse costume, when you could much more awesomely wear this:

And then things get weirder:

Dressing up as a Chinese takeout box for Halloween. Notice each breast is emblazoned with the word "enjoy" and she's wearing a fortune cookie on her head. Brain...failure..can't..react...

You are probably wondering what the hell is going on above. What are they supposed to be, you may be asking. Well, that right there is a sexy Big Bird, Elmo, and Cookie Monster costume. Yes. Scrolling down to avoid the horror doesn't make it any less real my friends.

This foursome may also make you wonder what is going on. They are sexy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes! Of course! Not quite as disturbing as the Sexy Big Bird, but still so weird. Who (outside of sorority sisters) are buying these things!?

Now, you know this Avatar thing is happening this year, but why is the dude wearing a suit? I watched that movie (well, the first half...snooze), and he spent plenty of time in "faux" native regalia. Which means loincloth, blue abs, etc. In this pairing, only the lady wears a body hugging catsuit. Lame! Just in case you were wondering, the children's version of this pair replicates the double standard:

I like how both the man and the boy are wearing masks instead of makeup. What's up with that?

You know, I get it. Some ladies want to slut it up one night a year. God help 'em, if they do, it's their choice. It's also my choice to think it's kind of sad and not in keeping with the point of Halloween costuming, but whatever. Sexy costumes are going to happen as long as there's patriarchy and being sexy is more valuable than choosing a clever costume. But what saddens me most is that even the costumes marketed to teen girls come in a "sexy" version:

Dude, it's Hermoine Granger (I know it says "wizard Wanda, but we're all in on the copyright infringement that's going on here, right?) . A character that is also a teenager in school! You could just wear the Harry Potter costume with a different wig. Why does a 15 year old need to be a sexpot Hermoine?!

Luckily with the littlest kids it isn't so bad. I was actually quite impressed with the "Buccaneers" costumes that are virtually the same from boy to girl (the only difference is a skirt vs. pants). Little girl Captain Jack Sparrow totally rules!

Each page of the catalog is frightening in different, unintentional ways. The only thing I would probably buy (if I had money or was throwing a party) is this really cool drink/blood dispenser:

Tune in tomorrow when I regale you with my anger over the huge con that is the Martha Stewart Halloween 2010 Magazine.

Summer of Kevin Smith

Something happened to me in the past year. I became intensely fascinated by Kevin Smith. This wasn't too surprising, since I have always thought he was a great interview and he's a super nerd. But I'm kind of not really into stories from a male perspective. My favorite stories are for, by, and/or about strong powerful chicks. But in the past couple of years, Smith's been more available via his podcast, aptly named Smodcast, with longtime producing partner Scott Mosier. And I've found it interesting to an alarming degree!

Capitalizing on the popularity of his commentaries, Q&A sessions, and other instances where he tells stories about working in Hollywood, he decided to start podcasting. A podcast, for the uninitiated, is like a radio show on the interwebs. Usually you can get access to podcasts, which are pre-recorded audio (and sometimes video) files, on iTunes, but you can also live stream from various websites. You don't have to go through iTunes to have a podcast, but it helps, because it is a giant catalog of free information by interesting folks. That's right, most of them are free. Smith's are all free. You can even see him live at the only podcasting theater in existence, the Smodcastle. But that will cost you. This summer he toured the nation on a deluxe bus recording podcasts in front of paying audiences, all of whom not only are followers of his films and comics collaborations, but his 130+ podcasts. They paid to see him talk to his friend and record it.

How did this start? I saw Clerks when it came out in the mid-90s. I know, that's totally crazy because it did so poorly, but it's true. I remember referencing the film with friends all the time. I have always been a fan of dude humor that revolves around dick jokes, and this seemed like the kind of movie that understood you don't have to be stupid to make those jokes. You just need to be totally immature, or at least allow yourself to be.  I liked Mallrats a lot, Chasing Amy less so, and Dogma a little more.  I always appreciated a lot of his humor. It's been given poor adjectives like puerile, juvenile, childish, homophobic, sexist, and other awful things. Some of that stuff is true. Some of it has its place in the world and shouldn't be necessarily a mark of awful story-telling.

So, that initial interest in Smith's oeuvre resulted in my decision to rent An Evening with Kevin Smith, which is sort of a stand-up film which cobbles together various Q&A events at colleges in the early 2000s. He was hysterically funny. There is a sequel, so I rented that too. There is all kinds of YouTubery of him at ComiCons and other events telling amazing stories. Like the one where he was hired to create a movie for Prince and got to go to Paisley Palace and entertain the wild notions of a loon. Or the one where he talks about the controversy surrounding his film Dogma and how he went to a protest of the film at a theater in New Jersey. A live news reporter spotted him but didn't recognize him and asked him (as an anonymous bystander) what he thought of the protest. And he dishes about celebrities. I love celebrity dirt. Especially when it's about people who act outrageously, because those people are mistreating personal assistants and valets and nobody knows about it until someone like Smith gives it up. That was the initial draw. His podcast is about celebrity dirt, but it's about much more.

It's his view of current events, his relationship with his friends and family, a good repoire comedically with Scott Mosier, and insight into guys. That perhaps is why I go back each week. Hearing men talk seemingly without filter. About anything. About how to deal with relationship issues, about how Harry Potter should have ended, about why Kirk Cameron is a total asshole. I have always wanted unfettered access to decent guy conversation. Guys who have interests and are passionate and not racist jerks who are afraid to show or talk about emotions.

The central quality that draws me is Smith's ability to reveal so much of himself. The stuff that people keep hidden for fear of being ostracized, the feelings and ideas that might get him called "queer" or "freak" are all on display. In fact, not only does he reveal all that stuff, he makes fun of himself,  jokes about the standard "dude" response, and rounds it out with a good bit of cursing. He is not afraid to tell his friends he cares about them. In fact, he seems to be amazingly loyal and warm-hearted.  All of his friends from New Jersey are still part of his life, some have joined him on the podcast (yes, I listen to Tell 'Em Steve-Dave, the Walt and Bryan podcast too).

Lothario Brian Quinn, Layabout Bryan Johnson, and Comedic Super Dad Walt Flanagan from Tell 'Em Steve-Dave

The success of his podcast has resulted in what could be called a podcast empire.

Jason Mewes joins him for Jay and Silent Bob Get Old, which has been the number one podcast in the world for the past 3 installations.

Ralph Garman from KROQ radio's Kevin & Bean morning show joins Smith for Hollywood Babble-On,  Malcolm Ingram, gay filmmaker of Small Town Gay Bar fame, joins him for Blow Hard, and he still does Smodcast with Scott Mosier!

Of course there are problematic elements of Smith's shows, and most of them are complex rather than simple "reasons why not," at least for me. I won't argue that there are some gay jokes that seem to associate gayness with negative qualities or qualities that make you not a "real" man, but they seem almost out of place against all the jokes that celebrate queer life, make fun of homophobes and turn the notion of masculinity on its head.  Smith seems to really enjoy pointing out sexual double-entendres (my favorite thing ever) and finding a way to turn almost anything into a joke about men fellating one another. I think a lot of the jokes acknowledge that sexual desire is complex and that he is open about being fascinated about sexuality in all its forms. Many hetero guys have a hard time even acknowledging gay sex exists, but Smith asks questions about it and wants to know more. He loves, for instance, that bears find him sexy. Lesbian issues he's not so clear on. He's a man's man, and knows a lot about male culture across the straight/gay divide, but he's not as well versed in women's issues. His podcast is sponsored by Fleshlight, which makes a masturbatory device that proves objectification can be disturbing and weird. But that's another post.

At the same time, he is often one to point out the lack of great women's roles in film, especially in comic-related projects. He made God a woman in his Dogma movie, and she wasn't a bitch or a whore. The women in his films run the gamut from temptress to nerd to intellectual to confusing three-nippled fortune teller. Though he admits that as a straight guy he was perhaps not the best person to write a story with a lesbian central character, he also points out that the criticism he received in that regard was valid, and made him think twice about doing so again. He uses the word "mysogynist" and knows what it means. His young daughter put into perspective how difficult the world is for young girls. At a recent ComiCon he is quoted as saying:

“That’s what I love about a comic book convention. People will come to a convention, stand there in a Spock costume, look at someone in a Chewie costume, and say, ‘Look at that fuckin’ geek.' How dare you pass judgment on those 12-year-old girls who like vampires!”



The only thing that makes me sad/mad about listening to his podcasts is the real self-hatred he has, especially regarding his weight. He admits that he doesn't shower with the lights on because he doesn't want to see his naked body. He thinks of himself as undeserving of sexual attraction, and reveals that his eager-to-please attitude is all rooted in being overweight. He makes disparaging comments about his weight almost reflexively, as a way to say it first before someone else does. Knowing this from his podcasts, it was heartbreaking to learn he'd been kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight for being "too fat" even though he fit into his seat and was belted in with no problems.

Bringing fat issues to the forefront isn't something he had particularly championed, but after that incident, he brought to light the serious disadvantage that people of size deal with on a daily basis. Not only did Southwest seem to not see the problem with the incident, the joke that it became in the press made the situation worse. I loved him a little more after he talked about it in the podcast. He could have easily gone into hiding for a month, but he spoke bravely (and, admittedly at great length) about it.

His humor is not for everyone. But I have been reveling in it for the past 4 months. I've probably listened to every podcast,  even the tangential ones his friends do without him. Even as I'm explaining it here, I can't understand why I, a feminist pop culture professor with degrees in cultural studies, am so taken by this guy, but I am.  He seems like a loving, soft-hearted, loyal guy, who tries to understand the world around him. Sure, sometimes he does so using only information gleaned from movies and television, but his thirst for knowledge is real!

Who knows what my next obsession will be, right?

News

I knew this time of year would get hectic, but along with the bad there's been tons of good stuff!

Big thanks to the folks at Feminist Review for cross-posting my Kick-Ass movie review! Check them out if you get a chance.

I am working on bring Sweet Lady Shop to life, and it's really going to happen! I'm going to start selling my wares in July/August. The unveiling will be broadcast here, of course, so keep your eyes peeled. Those sites are works in progress. I'll let you know when they are complete.

M and I spent the weekend in San Francisco and it was totally rejuvenating. I love when vacations are everything you wanted them to be and more. Great weather, great times, and great friends came out to see us! For a visual history of our visit, check out my Flickr site! Tons of pics of Alcatraz for those that have never been.

Valley Girl Intelligentsia

Not only does Kathleen Hanna have her own BLOG, but Bikini Kill has an online archive. Where have I been?



Check out this interview with Kathleen here: KH Interview

Whip It & Spring Breakdown

I am a fan of movies. Obviously, as a professor who teaches courses on popular culture I’m expected to care about movies and to think about them, but I genuinely love them. I love a lot of different kinds of movies, from avant garde stuff to the basest of comedies. I have a previously mentioned soft spot for gangster films and the paranormal/action genres, both heavily laden with male protagonists. If you were to look at my film collection, you might think I’m a guy who has a few chick movies lying around just to impress the ladies. Two genres that have become incredibly huge both in popularity and in box-office returns are buddy comedies and underdog sports films.

Judd Apatow has been having his Hollywood moment for the past few years with films like The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Superbad, Pineapple Express, and Funny People. All films that deal with male friendship. Now, I like most of those films and found them very funny, but most of them also feature shrew-like female characters who exist to either emasculate or comedically seduce these schlubby guys, who then grapple with the seemingly unknowable beast that is the female psyche. It kind of freaks me out that he likes to cast his wife, actress Leslie Mann as an incredibly mean and selfish woman, who by virtue of being “hot” is allowed to act as if not being obeyed is a cardinal sin.

That her characters tame or dismiss her partners in these films is not really a bravo moment for me as a feminist viewer. I think the scene in Knocked Up when her character breaks down after finding out her husband has been sneaking out to play fantasy baseball (and sometimes see a movie by himself) is the most telling. She gets mad at him because he has his own hobby that has nothing to do with her. It doesn’t turn into an argument about how she doesn’t really get to have any solo personal time (which would make her seem less like a shrew and more like a real woman and mother), it becomes about how his personal time should be hers. You know, because they are married. Which is how I would I would probably portray that argument if I was a man who was more interested in writing relatable, real, male characters than real female characters. I would love to see what Amy Poehler would have done to punch up that script.

This is the thing about the male gaze. Male gaze is the term feminist filmmakers and theorists have used to describe the assumed perspective of the movie audience. The default perspective, the ideal/assumed viewer is supposed to be a heterosexual man. And if you aren’t a heterosexual man, you have two choices: feel really left out and very confused during the movie watching experience, or learn how men think so you can go to the movies, like ever. It basically assumes the hetero (and,I forgot to mention, white) male perspective is the “normal” perspective, and everything else is not just different, but secondary. Thus women begin to train themselves to see things as men see them, and eventually look at themselves and criticize themselves based on the desires and needs of men. It reduces women to objects, people to be looked at, not people doing the looking.

These films about guy friendships are also about men transforming themselves into people who can be loving partners, good dads, better people, but they are never about how they need makeovers to feel sexy or attractive. And yet, there aren’t a lot of films about female transformation that don’t include physical transformation as a key element in the success of the central character. There are also not a lot of female buddy films based in crude, relentless, feminist-tinged comedy in the vein of films like Grandma's Boy or Superbad. I think there may be only one. It’s called Spring Breakdown, ladies, and not surprisingly, it went straight to video. Once the stars realized that the film would not get a wide release, it did get shown at Sundance, so if you are trying to sell the idea of renting this one, you might want to use that as your validation.


Spring Breakdown

First of all, the lead actresses are Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch, and Parker Posey. Enough said, right?

They play ladies who have been friends since college. Their college flashbacks indicate they were big ol’ geeks who got laughed out of the talent competition (what college is this?) because they chose to perform a silly version of Wilson Phillips’ “Hold On” (which I could sing by heart, btw). The winners? A scantily clad dance troupe gyrating to Marky Mark’s “Good Vibrations.” Cut to the present day and these three ladies are now...well, still geeks! Like, severe geeks. They are introduced as having kind of tragic lives. One’s primary relationship is with her cat, another is oblivious to the fact that she’s engaged to a gay man, and the third is a seeing-eye dog instructor who can’t even get a date with a blind guy. They go on a yearly vacation in the spring, and hope this year’s will get them out of their respective ruts, but their plans get hijacked.


Parker Posey’s character works for a powerful Republican Senator, played by Jane Lynch, who makes her go to South Padre Island to keep her college-aged daughter in line during spring break. She hopes to avoid a PR scandal that might result from the shenanigans a college gal might get into because she remembers her own crazy spring break days. However, her daughter, unbeknownst to her, is not a popular girl. She’s more “renaissance faire” than “party girl.” Her boyfriend has just left her for the campus hottie, and she’s only going to South Padre (with her friends in tow) to try to win him back. Meanwhile, the older ladies have a chance to revisit college and do what they never did, get wild on spring break.


These, you may have guessed, are stock teen comedy characters. But the movie goes to interesting places and follows these ladies as they learn about themselves. They don’t go through a makeover process, they don’t win back any hearts, they ultimately have just as many cool points as they had before, which is to say none. The film is ultimately about not fitting in being just another way to be, rather than bad or good. And not in a “fuck you I don’t want to fit in” kind of way. It’s not snotty or full of vengeance. It’s mostly about figuring out how to not let people make you feel small. It’s a little fluffy comedy written by women for women. And it stars women over 30 who are playing women over 30. And it doesn’t apologize for their love of pizza parties and womens music festivals. Say what you will, I heart this movie. Thanks to Rachel Dratch for writing it.

Fun bits?
-Amy Poehler’s adoption by the popular girls takes her and her wardrobe to amazing places.
-The things that would normally objectify women in a spring break comedy, like lady wrestling on the beach, looked really really gross.
-The extras at the hotel and beach scenes were a variety of sizes and shapes.
-Plenty of gross out gags and dirty one liners from a female perspective. My favorite (and one that gets repeated a bunch around my house by both of us: “I wanna see some BALLS!”)
-Rachel Dratch’s “affair” on South Padre Island.
-The fact that Poehler related to Bust magazine that she threw in a line about the male gaze but it was rejected because people though she was saying "male gays."

Not so fun bits?
-The gay fiance.
-The fact that almost every review of this movie written by men is negative.
-Also the fact that said reviewers mention the best thing about this “horrible” “unfunny” movie is the gay fiance character and the sexy foam party where Australian pop star Sophie Monk tries to use a southern accent.

If you love those shitty teen movies about guys trying to get laid/see the rock band/get alcohol/be accepted by cool people, and you are an adult woman (and I know, this is a very select group here), this movie will be fun to watch.

TomatoMeter Rating at Rotten Tomatoes?
56%

Whip It

For those of you who are just not into crude humor or sillyness, Whip It , based on the novel Derby Girl by Shauna Cross and directed by Drew Barrymore of all people, is a great film about female friendship. It’s a great film about underdog sports as well, and about how athleticism and the friendships that team sports engender are life-changing. It’s a film that cares about its characters. What I mean by that is, each character plays an important role in moving the story forward, but all of them are complex enough to be portrayed as more than obstacles or allies of the protagonist. It goes against the idea that peripheral characters need to be simple so that the story can progress. It’s about roller derby, and yet it never goes into the “male gaze” territory of ogling the participants.

Seventeen year-old Bliss Cavendar (played by Ellen Paige, of Juno fame) is a gal living in a small town in Texas who is struggling with the fact that her mother likes beauty pageants and she, well, seems to have grown out of them. She sneaks out to Austin to join a roller derby team, and though she’s a tiny slip of a girl, she’s super fast and feisty when tested. Her goal to become less timid and more ruthless in the rink is the impetus for her nickname, Babe Ruthless.

Surrounding her are her best friend Pash (Alia Shawkat), who wants to get the hell out of their small town as soon as possible, the roller derby teammates, played by Drew Barrymore “Smashley Simpson”, Eve “Rosa Sparks”, and Kristin Wigg “Maggy Mayhem.” And then there is Juliette Lewis, who plays a pretty damn badass opposing derby girl, Iron Maven. 


It isn’t a teen movie about having to blow off your parents and do your own thing. It’s respectful of representing a real, and quite tough mother-daughter relationship. One that isn’t easily returned to equilibrium by the end of the movie, but nonetheless allows us to see the good and bad aspects of both characters. There is a boy love interest for Bliss, which goes in an unexpected direction as well. And the friendship between Bliss and Pash is really just beautiful. I’m glad to know the actresses are friends in real life.

A cursory glance at the reviews of this movie are cringeworthy:


“Takes girl power to the extreme”
“Kansas City Bomber crossed with Gidget”
“They own their own odd sexiness” (wtf? In what universe is Eve in short shorts an odd sexiness?)

Most dudes weren’t really into it, I guess. They gave it more favorable reviews than Spring Breakdown, don’t get me wrong, but I think they were put off by a young female character whose primary goal was to be “most awesome roller derby player” and not “get a boyfriend.” One reviewer called Page’s character “not believable.” The only scene where she makes a declaration of love is during a fight with her parents about roller derby. She says “I’m in love with this thing.” And that felt totally believable to me. It was a rare moment in movie watching for me, the ever vigilant analyst, where I was watching what I thought was a person, not a character. It explained the love of sports for me too, which I didn't really get before.

Reviewers seemed to dig the “sports scenes” or derby bouts. Those got rave reviews across the board. Even Peter effing Travers, who I usually find insightful, gave a rather short, negative review in which he used the word “cuteness” and reduced the film to the equivalent of a chick flick about roller skates.

Interestingly, Carrie Rickey of the Philadelphia Inquirer called it “heaven on wheels.”

TomatoMeter Rating at Rotten Tomatoes?
83%!

You should just see it, OK?

So seductive...

Current TV is amazing, and this almost 7 minute long cartoon about vampires and masculinity in Hollywood is just one of the reasons why:

Vampax!

Twilight Cycles from Brandon Routh

New Moon Review

This Twilight thing keeps on keepin' on. I have to say, as unhappy as I was with the books, I'm still a vampire geek, and must see the films. I'm invested. And I don't go into them thinking, "oh god, this crap is going to be torture." I don't even go into them too snarkily. But it was an interesting movie, for a number of reasons. For one thing, the special effects were better, and Bella's character got to experience a wider range of emotions.

This is the film where we figure out that Jacob is a werewolf, and that his werewolf pack hunts vampires. They are pretty bad at it, so far, but they are new. I thought it was bad form to show them in the trailer, because in the book, Jake's behavior and that of his friends was such a mystery, and when you found out (even though you totally knew because, hello, vampires always have werewolves hanging about), it was an emotional and exciting moment. Way to spoil it, movie.

Now, say you're a gal who just realized vampires exist, and that you're dating one. After he broke up with you, you were bummed, but you started to hang out with this other guy. And all of the sudden, this new guy tries to break it off with you. So you confront him and he turns into a werewolf. My first reaction would be something like, "Are you freaking serious??! You've got to be kidding me!" But nothing like that happens here. No snarky Buffy moments, even when they are sooo ripe for the picking. It was a bit sad. Some humor here and there would have been nice. Bella does have one joke, wherein she tells Edward that he's too old for her and it's "gross." Only one chuckle the whole movie!

I did love Dakota Fanning in this movie. She's in it for maybe 5 minutes, as one of the Volturi, and I absolutely loved her take on it. She has grown some since I last saw in her in anything, which works great for the role, since she's supposed to be an old vampire in a child's body. She's got kid face still, but with the makeup, she's freaky mature. Child vampires are always creepy, and are pretty much used in every epic vampire tale. Anne Rice of course created Claudia, and the Anita Blake books had a freaky girl-vamp named Nikolaos. I hope the next movie goes into the Dakota Fanning character more. Her ability to inflict pain with her thoughts is scary.

The other Volturi were....how can I put this. LAME. What is it about vampire movies that make vampire councils so out of time/place. I get that old vampires would have trouble adjusting to modern times, but I just can't imagine someone surviving very long if they look like these dudes. Someone's gonna figure it out, fools. Get a spray tan and watch some TV. Get yourself acclimated. Damn.


Vampire Mythology:
In this film we learn some things about Twilight vampire myth. We already know these vampires aren't sun-phobic, and they don't have fangs (which is such a huge thumbs down for me, btw). They don't need to be invited into your house. Garlic is a non-issue. Stephanie Meyer claims she never read any vampire books. It shows. Apparently, these vamps are very hard to kill. No stake through the heart. Edward complains that he couldn't kill himself if he wanted to. I think you can decapitate them, but it's tough to actually do it. Most things don't survive decapitation, so that makes sense.

The younger vamps have the hardest time being around blood. Jasper sees Bella's paper cut and goes apeshit, leading Edward to dramatically make everyone leave town and abandon Bella, which makes little sense, given that Jasper goes to high school, where presumably all kinds of scrapes, cuts, and menstruation are happening around him all the time. WTF movie?

They aren't very vampirey, other than that they are super fast and pale. Could we at least see how they eat? What they do for food? If they have such beautiful outfits on all the time, and they don't have fangs, and they need blood---what do they do? Drain animals/humans and store the blood in something sanitary? Sip from glasses?

Bella is, well, just like the books in that she has no personality. Her only concern is her boyfriend. And when she talks to him, we don't get the sense that she asks much of him. I'd be doing a big giant interview about what it's like to be a vampire, you know? And I'd sure as hell ask some more questions before deciding to become one. When he leaves her, she stops existing. She sits in her room, becomes deeply depressed, has hallucinations about Edward that only appear when she's doing something dangerous. She of course, tries to encounter danger so that these apparitions return. She is an incredibly weak female character, and in a movie that is mostly talk, she asks few questions and makes almost no demands. She gets sad, not angry. Does she have likes? Dislikes? Opinions on stuff? I read four huge giant books and I don't think I retained any of those things about her. This is sad, but it also makes a great deal of sense, if you think about it.

I get why teenage girls love this story, even though it makes me sad that they do. Most stories provide a function beyond entertainment. This one is no different. It says a lot about teen girls and the intensity of romance during adolescence.

Bella's absence of a personality, of things that make her an individual, make it very easy to identify with the character and think of yourself as her. There's no there there, so you can easily fill it with you. Bella is a girl who seems to think she's boring, not special, not important. Every teenager feels that way. Hell, I'm 32 and I feel that way most days! And lo and behold, this very boring, non-special girl is the object of a very special guy's attention. A guy who is very beautiful and has seen a lot of pretty ladies in his day. This guy is fascinated with her like she's the most unique thing in the universe. That's a fantasy we all have, to be thought of as irreplaceable, unbelievably precious and admired. Especially during the teen years, when you really don't know who you are yet. And this guy's attraction is not about sexual conquest.

Edward never makes sexual demands of her, and in fact, refuses her often. Imagine having a super chivalrous, protective, strong, gorgeous guy who likes you for-get this-you. Girls are so often expected to be enforcers of purity in this culture. If you "let" intimacy occur, you are the slut, he's the stud. It's something we learn very early. So even though girls have real sexual desire, it's all too often complicated by expectation (on the one hand) to be sexually available enough to be considered attractive to guys, and (on the other) not to be too sexually available so as to be respectable to everyone else. That's totally hellish for most girls. Here we have a guy who doesn't put her in the position of being the enforcer, of drawing that line. As an adult (and a feminist) it bothers me that he takes that choice away from her, but I can see how liberating it might feel for a girl to have a guy who voices her fears back to her of the dangers sex might bring to a young relationship. This is also why the film stays so dramatic and intense, and never goes into the sarcastic place that most teen films go. It's on the same emotional level as many teens, and to snark it up would be to undercut the sincerity of those feelings.

What its popularity says to me is that young girls need feminism, because this guy Edward is so popular because he doesn't exist. He can't exist in this world. He wouldn't be rewarded for existing, anyway. You'd pretty much have to go to high school a few times to do it with Edward's attitude (which, given that he's 109, is probably the case). And I don't even want him to exist. He makes choices for Bella because he feels he knows what's best, and she's too afraid of him leaving to make a peep about them.

Are these the choices young women have? Behind door number one, the guy who wants you for your body, fears perceptions of weakness by other men and thus shuns any kind of emotional intimacy. This is the guy who is most often presented as being "normal" in popular culture. A very rigid and unsatisfying definition of manhood, if you ask me. Behind door number two, the sensitive guy with feelings who loves you so much he's afraid to ruin you (in Edward's case, kill you) by sleeping with you. There is a place between overbearing chivalry and objectifying misogyny, you know. It would be cool if real people went to that place. I'd at least like my vampire romances to go there.

Vampire Diaries - Review Pt. 2

Elena and bad vampire Damon

Ok, so remember how I reviewed this show already? Well, at the end of the review I was lamenting that main character Elena hadn't figured out Stefan's undeadlyness. I believe I said something like if she didn't find out in the next episode, I'd probably not stick around. Well, she heard me because by the next episode, she was researching and finding the evidence she needed to confirm what she knew in her heart. Her new boy is all secretive and broody because he's a vampire.

So I stuck with the show. The cons I mentioned in the last post, well, they are still cons.

• Bad, bad historical accuracy in the representation of Civil War-era Mystic Falls.

• Grodyness surrounding the attraction Stefan has for a 17-year old girl. I think in the last episode, Stefan says he's been 17 since 1864. Which made me laugh because the actor is 27 and looks it.

• It's a show about high-school in a small/insular town, which just sucks as a premise for me.

• The heroine is a young girl - I like my heroines to be older, or at least not naive. My typical heroine's sexual awakening happened years ago and she's not about to fall for someone just because he finds her attractive.

But now it's time for some of the pros, which after a few episodes, I think it deserves:

1 - Elena's Un-Bella-like Response

I liked that Elena did a bunch of research (on a computer!) in order to confirm her suspicions about Stefan. And, when she did find out, she confronted him, was angry, and made it pretty clear that she couldn't be with him until she figured some things out. Namely whether or not he has ever killed anyone before. He might be a vampire vegetarian now, but was he always? She's surprisingly cautious, and she likes to be adequately informed before making decisions. She's just getting used to the idea of vampires and her initial reaction seems to be disgust. That's more of a normal response.

2 - Elena's desire to be in control

Both vampires are fascinated by Elena's resemblance to Katherine, the vampire who turned them both (and had affairs with them as well). I thought this would lead to one of those tug-of-war type story lines where Elena is kept in the dark about their natures while they woo her and fight over her. She ultimately is a prize, not a person. And coveted only because she resembles a bigger prize that is no longer available.

So far, what has happened is that they are both interested in her, but thanks to a magical herb called "vervain" in her necklace (which Stefan gave her), she is resistant to vampire mind-control. It's nice to know the choices she's making are her own and now that she knows they are vampires, I'm interested to see how she deals with them. Already she's managed to throw the legend of Katherine in Damon's face, making him leave her doorstep in a huff. He's the baddie and he got totally faced by a human. She knows who Katherine is and that she turned them into vampires. I don't know if she knows how much she resembles her. And I so want to see her get pissed when she figures it out. Please, show, if you love me, make her go dark for a time when she figures it out. Please?

3 - Elena's concern for her friends, and their concern for her

Bonnie & Caroline, Elena's friends

I like that Elena shows concern for her friends, and even for people who aren't close to her. When she thinks that Caroline is being brutalized by Damon, she tries to get her to leave him and doesn't let up. Bonnie senses something weird about Stefan and cautions Elena, but instead of ignoring her or distancing herself from her friendships, she encourages Bonnie and Stefan to get to know each other. Her support structure doesn't seem to suffer as she enters the relationship. She still lives with her brother and aunt, all of whom interact with each other (even though everyone is distracted by their own drama).

Ex-boyfriend Matt tries to make nice with Stefan and gives him pointers about dating her. Namely that he be up front about his past, because she will find out whatever it is he is hiding, indicating that Elena is no shrinking flower.

Even though she has lost her parents recently, her support structure is there. She's not as disconnected as I had initially thought.

Vampire brothers Stefan & Damon Salvatore

4 - Hello, vampires eat people. People!

This show doesn't shy away from the dark side of vampirism, namely that people are like sandwiches. Stefan may have qualms about killing for dinner, but Damon does not. His lack of regard for human life is powerfully represented. He manipulates and glamours his way into the lives of several people in Mystic Falls. He brutally kills people on screen. Stefan's humanity is a great counter-balance to Damon's inhumanity, but at the same time, Damon has a soft-spot for his brother. He had the chance to let Stefan die and he saved him instead.

I'm hoping Damon's character gains some complexity, because if they stick to this white-hat/black-hat dynamic, it will be very tough to rationalize Stefan's reluctance to kill his brother. I want to hear more about Damon's relationship with Katherine. Maybe he has a reasonable beef with humans?

We also need to meet more vampires, or learn something more about vampire culture. Maybe Elena will do some more research? A gal can only hope.

Final Decision:

Not much new on the vampire mythos front, but an interesting look at vampire-human romance that (so far) hasn't compromised the self-esteem of the heroine. Even though my Thursday evening is pretty packed, I'm going to DVR Vampire Diaries and watch it during the graveyard that is Tuesday night (no pun intended).

Gossip

If you were wondering if you should buy Gossip's new album, Music for Men, I'm here to tell you: YES.

If you haven't heard of them, you should first go out and get 2006's Standing in the Way of Control, an amazing album.

That album was powerful, fun, punk with amazing vocals by Beth Ditto. I saw them perform on their tour for this album. It had been a while since I'd seen a singer just totally floor the audience. Her voice is clear and beautiful, which is perfect for the disco record feel of the new album. She's an awesome performer, and I'm glad they are finally getting some serious recording money. Even though there are only three band members, these songs sound like so much more.


Music for Men is about love in a lot of different ways. Mostly about the ways it drives you crazy. A few love gone wrong songs, a few love is for everybody songs. I've had these songs in my head since I downloaded the album (legally, as in I actually paid for it, which as you know is a big deal for me!)

I've given you some of the tracks so you can hear what I'm talking about. The first three are from Standing in the Way of Control, and the second three are from the new album, Music for Men.

Gossip's video for Heavy Cross is below.

Kill or Be Killed

I did an informal survey of books about vampires at Barnes & Noble today. Just walking around I noticed the vampire books displays, as I have for the past year or so, strewn about. They aren't even adjacent to the Twilight displays anymore because they no longer need to be. They are everywhere. And as Neil Gaiman has noted, this vampire genre thing is starting to get played out. Which means delicious low-rent covers and stories are all over!!! So I took pictures of the many covers I found. The covers, as well as the stories within them, are a clear indication that women seem to drive the genre. Just take a look at this stuff, it's hilarious!

You have your teen vampire/paranormal novels, filled with angsty goodness. Many of them are what you would expect:



All very passive imagery here, even for the books where the protagonist is a female vampire! There were some exceptions, but very few. A lot of these novels are obviously capitalizing on the success of the Twilight series and its central character, klutzy, co-dependent Bella Swan. Some of these novels have stronger heroines, and the Chosen book is actually a very female-centered novel about a girl and her best friend. But books like Untamed (by the same author!) are pretty much about trying/wishing/spending all day thinking about being popular and having a boyfriend.

Here's a few exceptions: # 1 your defiant teenage guy, flaunting his vampireness. Note the requisite bangs that are on every guy these days. I swear I wore that haircut in the mid-90s.



They are both about 8th grader Vladmir Tod, who goes to, no joke-Bathory High School. Lots of addressing his blood lust and how difficult it is for him not to feed on those around him. That doesn't seem to be a big problem for the girl protagonists, though. Maybe the whole "my boyfriend wants to kill me/love me" scenario that is so popular with Twilighters is not as successful in reverse. Hmmm.....

I thought this one was clever. Often I want to tell the vampire characters in novels to just suck it up and be a vampire already. Or kill yourself. Whatever, just move on!


Black is for Beginners has a graphic novel quality to its cover, with the girl in front of the boy, no less:

I think this title, plus the chesty tattooed shirtless guy made me laugh, but I'm comedically about 13 years old.
Bones!

Don't blame the kids (or publishers perceptions of teen aesthetics) for the silly covers. Roll on over to the mystery and sci-fi fantasy displays for some fun ones like California Demon. Plays on words, bloody puns...it's too much.

Oh, and there were tons of covers that feature women with bare midriffs, tight clothing, and phallic instruments of vampire destruction:


Lots of tribal tattoos, I've noticed. Both on the vamps and the slayers (and especially the slayers who love vamps).

The whole "I love you but I also want to eat you for dinner" story is fascinating to me, of course. But far more sinister to me is the "I spend my life hunting your kind down and you should all be destroyed but I can't help wanting to have lots of sex with you" story. It strikes too close to the idea of racism and how racism works in this culture to be a pleasurable sexy story for me. The idea that you ascribe certain uncivilized and monstrous traits to a group of people and therefore cannot admit that you harbor any inkling of such traits, but of course you do, so then in order to deal with it you project your self-loathing onto the group by eliminating/dominating them. Tons of the books on the shelves are about the same thing. And the best-selling stories in the genre are as well (Anita Blake, Buffy, etc.). Anyway, moving on...

This one was an interesting take on the genre:

He's a vampire! And an Agent! He's Vampire Agent! And he doesn't have to wear a crop top to fight! (If you sing it, it makes a damn fine theme song)

So that was fun, right. Wait, it gets better. Where could it get any better, you might ask? I mean, what section would offer more? You guessed it, the romance novel section, which doesn't even mess around. They are all about dudes who want to have sex with you and have you for dinner, and about how someone wanting to kill you is the sexiest thing you've ever heard.

Case in point:



Apparently the "Lord of Sin" likes frilly cuffs on his shirts and cocktail rings. Who knew?


I know, these are about werewolves, but it's the same deal. Werewolf and werewolf slayer fall in love. Will they have puppies and live happily ever after? Only if he learns to stop himself before slashing her to pieces every month! And if she can ever get over having sex with a person she considers to be a dirty animal! Oh those two!


Dude, is Heather Graham the actress writing romance novels? Because that sounds amazing!



This one is about an immortal, but not a vampire (its complicated and demony), but the bare midriff mantra remains.


I actually like this cover, even though it has a girl with dead-face on it, because of the script and the black-white-red color scheme. I looked at the synopsis of the story and apparently it's about a guy named Allen Cabbot, recruited by his professor to get involved in a big adventure. He then "finds himself tangling with Battle Jesuits, a Society of Witches and a vampire, and he learns that Evergreen's real goal may be the philosopher's stone. The feisty ghost of 16th-century alchemist Edward Kelley serves as narrator, complaining about the picture on his Wikipedia entry while explaining the history behind Allen's adventure." Sounds tongue in cheek. May be worth it?

An now, the piece de resistance:


Yes, you read it right, Tall, Dark & Fangsome. The story is actually the reverse of the tale I mentioned way up in the teen fiction section. A lady vampire who has been cursed with being extra murderous or something and has to stop herself before she kills the guys she falls in love with.

My favorite little contribution to this list was something that I totally thought was a vampire novel, just from the red text, but it turns out has nothing to do with vampires, which is good, because that name is so awful, it would have to be a hack writer. That being said, wtf is up with that name? Eric Van Lustbader? For reals, Eric?



Sigh, it could be worse, of course. I mean, I could be reading about chicks who are into dragons.


Fighting dragons in drapey club wear. Not smart.