On Courtney Love

"I found my inner bitch and ran with her." - Courtney Love

I just realized that "kinderwhore" is a Wikipedia entry. Don't know how I got to realize that, but Wikipedia takes you on some crazy trips if you start looking up bands. Remember the 90s? When I think of the 90s, I think of babydoll dresses and combat boots. It reminded me of my total love/hate relationship with Courtney Love. Mostly love. I know many people think of her as a junkie, or my generation's Yoko Ono (which is bullshit, I love Yoko Ono, and if you think she broke up the Beatles, you are, to put it mildly, mistaken), or just a crazy person, but I always liked her craziness. Rock stars are always crazy people. I love that she is just as balls out psycho as Nikki Sixx or Robert Plant or whatever. She was on MTV telling Kurt Loder to fuck off and calling out couture fashion for their exploitation of the grunge babydoll look.

She was a giant amazon, had a big mouth, talked about her band like it was better than her husband's band, and wanted every girl to get a guitar and start a band. As a 15 year-old, I was impressed with her ability to leave the independent scene and go to the major label and still not shut her mouth. Still, you can only read so much press about yourself that is disparaging and descriptions of yourself that are not so nice. She got plastic surgery (nose job, boob job, and eventually every kind of job). She bought into the fashion industry. Her drug use started messing with her ability to give an interview. She was in the tabloids strapped to a gurney being taken to Bellevue. And the 24 Hours of Love thing on MTV2? So frightening. But still, I love that she is a work in progress. A project that isn't going perfect. A feminist that likes to call out the record industry and the magazines whenever the hell she feels like it. But at the same time being cringingly embarrassing (remember when she found out she might be Jewish? Ugh...). She's totally exhausting.

As a Bikini Kill fan, I was bummed (and alternately also amused, sort of) to hear about the Kathleen Hanna/Courtney Love fistfight in 1995. She not only punched Kathleen, but somehow also showered her with candy (hee?!) But I found it interesting that even though the whole thing went to court, Kathleen mentioned she still liked listening to Hole, and Courtney talked about how great some of Kathleen's zines were.

I still listen to songs from Pretty on the Inside and Live Through This. I have been known to go dressed as her for Halloween.

Years ago, I tried to friend Courtney on MySpace because she wrote her own blogs. Sadly for me, in my Top 8 was Le Tigre or Riot Grrrl or something that put her (or her people) off, because I was DENIED. I guess I understand. Young'uns say things like "You killed Kurt" and stuff on her comments. You don't need that shit as a 40 year old with a teenager. I saw Kurt & Courtney, the documentary, made by possibly the worst documentarian alive. I believe he paid junkies to interview and they often had little of interest to say. Some couldn't even prove they knew them. Others were pissed off former employees. And if you've seen it, well, you know that El Duce is probably the scariest and weirdest interview ever and I still don't know if he killed Kurt, but I bet he killed someone!

The other day, I read some nutty excerpt from her blog on Perez Hilton, and thought, I should try and add her again, because I want a front row seat for the crazy train, and because she hides some gems in there sometimes. Some quotes to live by, you know?

And she accepted. So we're friends now. Dont' get me wrong, she would probably not enjoy hanging out with me (nor me with her). But I dig the friendship we have going right now. She and I give each other some space, you know? I think this look should come back, by the way: